The first time I heard the expression “getting it” was in conversation with learned colleague Jill Konrath about six years ago: We were discussing the selection criteria for the Top Sales Experts team and we both agreed that “getting it” should be a pre-requisite for anyone wishing to join us.
Up until that point I had been used to working to “win-win” principles – it is something my mother taught me from an early age, but she called it the “give and take” mindset, and later on in life, this essential philosophy was further confirmed by Steven Covey in his defining work “Seven Habits of Highly Successful People” which I have since summarized in a free downloadable Ebook
Developing a conscious understanding of this giving and sharing strategy can take some time and some practice.
In her book ‘How to Master Networking’ Robyn Henderson calls this process earning the right to ask a favor of another person, or giving without hooks. Both of these statements imply two processes that operate pretty much at the same time (and neither of them necessarily our first reaction).
The two processes in earning the right to ask a favor are:
• Giving away information (to be helpful)
• Being open for any help you may need
Let’s look at these two processes in turn ……
Giving Away Information
Whether it is accidental or planned, formal or informal, random or structured, while discussing with other people, the effective “win-winner” offers his or her knowledge, skills, ideas, resources, guidance or data freely – without any ‘hooks’ or expectations that repayment is due in any form. In fact, the only immediate benefit may be the pleasure to be derived from assisting someone with information that was of value to them.
Whilst the giver expects nothing in return, the receiver has a very positive experience and memory of you upon which they can act (if they so choose) in the future. If they do, either directly or indirectly, at some indeterminate time, you may receive some reciprocal benefit.
Along with openly offering any possible help and support, the effective “win-winner” does not operate as a one-way helper or super person/white knight/angel coming to the rescue of everyone else, but never personally in need of assistance. He or she also talks realistically about personal goals, tasks, challenges, problems and general issues and acknowledges feeling vulnerable in not being able to do everything single-handedly. Being open means being receptive to help when it is offered and, on occasions, asking networking contacts if they can suggest ideas, strategies or approaches that could assist you.
Two-Way Process
These two processes operate at the same time and together to create a cycle through which ‘favors’ are continually offered to all who participate. These favors are both offered and taken in order to keep the relationship strong.
This process is also called ‘reciprocity’ – it simply means that an effective relationship is a coin with two sides, rather than just one. You can’t have one without the other.
Successful relationships are therefore about ……
This is an extract from my article which appears in the Top Sales World September magazine) As well as original articles from top sales experts, Dr. Tony Alessandra, Kelley Robertson, Steven Rosen, and Mark Hunter.. Joanne Black is in “Focus” and she is also providing three signed copies of her mega- selling “No More Cold Calling” as prizes for this month’s Top Sales Treasure Hunt.
Finally, we have introduced a brand new section “Top of Mind”and this is where every month Linda Richardson interviews the leading thought leaders within the sales space. For September,Linda chose Gerhard Gschwandtner, founder and publisher of Selling Power, and he offers, as ever, some highly illuminating thoughts on the current “state of play”
To download the magazine and continue reading, please go here – Top Sales World
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